Is my relationship safe?
Relationships, families and home should feel safe, but many people are in a situation where a partner, ex-partner, carer, or family member is hurting them, making them feel scared, or controlling them.
This is abuse (domestic & family violence) and is not okay.
Often the behaviour of an abusive person goes in a cycle where sometimes their behaviour is okay and sometimes not. It often gets worse over time. This can feel confusing, particularly if the person being abusive makes promises to change, blames you for what is happening, or tries to excuse their behaviour. You might also be experiencing other stress, harm or hardship in your life that makes your situation feel very complicated. Sometimes other people try to excuse the abusive behaviour or make it seem like it is your fault.
Does your partner, ex-partner, carer or family member:
- Put you down or say things to you that make you feel bad?
- Punish you for saying or doing something they don’t like?
- Talk about you disrespectfully to friends, family or your children?
- Regularly check what you do on your phone or on-line?
- Call or message you constantly if you are out somewhere without them?
- Physically hurt you or threatens to hurt you or others?
- Force or pressure you to have sex?
- Stop you from seeing family or friends or going anywhere without them?
- Control all the money in the relationship?
- Prevent access to equipment/medication/support you need for daily living?
- Get other people to hurt or harm you?
- Threaten to get you deported if you are not a permanent resident?
- Hurt or threaten to hurt your pets?
- Blame you for their behaviour or mood?
- Use your sexual orientation or gender identity against you as a way to hurt or control you?
- Threaten to hurt themselves or kill themselves if you don’t do what they want?
Do you:
- Feel frightened or nervous around the person?
- Feel like you are walking on eggshells when you are around them?
- Feel scared to disagree with them?
- Often find yourself doing things to please them, rather than what you would like to do?
- Feel like nothing you do is ever good enough for them?
- Feel like you are responsible for their behaviour?
- Worry about the things your kids have seen at home?
If you answered YES to any of these questions – you may be experiencing domestic and family violence. You and your children have a right to feel safe in relationships and in your home. You are not alone and there is support to help you. If you would like to talk with us, please call Domestic Violence Crisis Line on 1800 800 098.
